The Hair Post! Rants, Raves, and mostly solicted advice

Southern women are often the queens of unsolicited advice. But, since sooo many other Ethiopian mamas, Caribbean in-laws, and others with multi-racial cuties have asked, I have decided to make like a pizza boy & deliver what you crave!
The canvas: JG has soft corkscrew curls, with courser hair at the back of her head. It is pretty thin, and she still has baby hair around her forehead. I am not sure which ethnic group in Ethiopia she is from, and although she is supposedly from the Sidama region, her hair is most like the kids I've met from Addis Ababa (that is a WHOLE 'nother story). At about 20 months her head was shaved almost bald at the transition home, so we were pretty much working from a blank canvas when we arrived home with her at 22 months. Honestly, this was a blessing, because she was able to grow healthy hair from the start. If you are bringing home a toddler or baby, and their hair is patchy or destroyed due to malnutrition or skin problems, i would not feel guilty about cutting it. In Ethiopia, it is tradition to cut a child's hair 5 times before they turn 5, so you can use that as an excuse if you want. If you are adopting a baby, be prepared for the texture to change (usually, it gets courser). Also, if you live in extreme climates (like Canada or Houston), your child's hair may take a while to adjust to the new weather conditions.
The shampoo: Don't freak out, white people. What I'm about to say might shock you. We shampoo JG's hair once every other week. Or after we swim. Or if it gets dirty with peanut butter, jelly, or extreme goo. We like Organix coconut shampoo and conditioner.
The conditioner: With every bath we use conditioner. This is called "co-washing". I'm no scientist, and I'm not giving money back guarantees, but I have heard lots of people say that there is a little cleaning agent in conditioner...so if that helps you white gals sleep at night between shampoos, there ya go! I like Organix coconut, or I use my sulfate free conditioner from L'oreal. I finger comb the conditioner through the princess's hair, let it sit for about 2 minutes, then use the Tangle Teezer comb to work the conditioner through. If I have time (night time baths) then I put a shower cap on her head and let the conditioner sit for a while before rinsing. If I don't have time (morning showers or kitchen sink co-washes) I just rinse after the comb out.
The leave-in: After the wash or co-wash I use a leave-in conditioner. My favorite is the leave in conditioner from Mixed Chicks. I use a nickel size amount, spread through the hair, style hair the way I want it to lie, have her shake her hair out, and DO NOT TOUCH the hair again. Every time you touch curly hair it makes it more frizzy. You may also like Carol's Daughter's Hair Milk, which I find similar to Aveda's Be Curly. We have used both of these with success also.
The busy day: For super busy days I keep a spray bottle with 1/4 mixed chicks leave-in, and 3/4 water for dousing the princess's curls before leaving the house. I always comb her head wet. The tangle teezer is a time/tear saver. Get it at Sally's or on Amazon.com. Another idea is to skip the leave-in routine & use a natural boar bristle brush (Sally's) and brush out pigtails into little afro puffs or little buns. I use snag-free hair elastics that look plastic (Target and Walmart sell these).
The winter once-a-month//Swim days: We use coconut oil (amazon or whole foods) as a oil treatment before shampoos once a month during the winter, or after swimming. I put in on, comb it through, put a shower cap on the big girl, and leave it for 20 minutes. You can use olive oil instead, but I'm a Florida Pina Colada girl at heart. A little goes a long way: My hubby oiled up our sweet girl's hair one time as slick as a pig at the county fair, and I slid across our kitchen tile as stepped in the dripping coconut oil. I almost performed a triple axle. Rinse well too, or your kid will look like she's auditioning for The Sopranos.
The extras: We use a satin pillowcase to prevent hair breakage (Ebay) and we use a night cap, aptly named "Pretty Pretty Princess Nightcap". In order to get JG to wear it, I had to wear one for the first month at night (while we tucked her in) to convince her that this is what was normal. She's stubborn. I wonder who she gets that from? You can get a nightcap at Walmart, Walgreens, Sally's, or online. I like the look of the one shown on HappyGirlHair blog, which I am ordering ASAP. As she has gotten older I do 3-4 simple twists (not quite braids, not secured with elastic) before putting on the nightcap to prevent night time tangles which are THE WORST!
Summary/The Essentials: If I had a boy, or I wanted to focus on what was most important, i would choose: 1. Tangle Teezer comb 2. Leave-in conditioner.
I hope this helps!

It Remains to be Seen...

When I see the little Ethiopian-born princess stomping across the church stage in her clumsy cow costume singing Joy to the World, while she grabs a stray toy axe, 3 feet from chopping the baby Jesus’s manger up, I just get to thinking…. About the little girl, who 2 Christmases ago was stuck in an orphanage, with a mound of paperwork and a wide, wide ocean separating her from our family. She didn’t know what was waiting for her. I see my own 29-year-old face, full of hope of what would one day be, but lined from the miles and worry that comes from taking little boys to and from autism therapy treatments and from feeling like your own womb has betrayed you. I didn’t know how God would would work, heal, and restore. I wonder about a specific soul I may never meet. I cannot imagine the brilliant face of the woman, or girl, who birthed my JG. Was she as bright, as tenacious of spirit, as stubborn, as funny? Did she have hope her baby would live? Or have a family who would treasure her?
When I get to wondering, I get to crying- crying over the words of “Joy to the World”. I see people rushing around in their fancy cars and tacky holiday sweaters, buying more loads of junk that their kids don’t need, that their sister-in-laws will roll their eyes over, and another tie that their stepdad won’t like, busy "makin' the yuletide gay." Christmas is about a baby. A baby who was a king, and hardly anyone knew or noticed. But for those who heard, and those who knew it was precious. They were people, waiting for a savior, and they saw him. He wasn’t what they may have expected; maybe their joy was not as complete as they hoped, because the Lord hadn’t come as a 30 year old conquering king, but as a baby. The “Joy to the World” kind of remains to be seen when you are sitting in a stable, surrounded by stinky animals, and the King of Glory is wrapped up in swaddling clothes. They didn’t know it, but Easter was coming.
I am happy when I see my baby girl prancing across the stage and shouting out the words to “Jesus Loves Me” like she’s auditioning to be the next Beyonce. But part of the Joy to the World remains to be seen….and that is the day I’m waiting for…where the glories of His righteousness are revealed in full, faith is made sight, and every tear is wiped away.
No more let sins and sorrows grow, Nor thorns infest the ground; He comes to make His blessings flow Far as the curse is found, Far as the curse is found, Far as, far as, the curse is found.
He rules the world with truth and grace, And makes the nations prove the glories of His righteousness, And wonders of His love, And wonders of His love, And wonders, wonders, of His love.
I wish you friends, a very Merry Christmas and much joy in the New Year!

A Washington, Oregon, & Florida Thanksgiving with Georgia on My Mind

We have been DTE (dossier to Ethiopia) for 3 months now. We are currently #21 for a baby girl, and #9 for a toddler. We have been visiting relatives all over the nation & homeschooling like mad trying to beat the clock to be finished with 1st & 3rd grades before new baby comes home… and speaking of “new baby” we officially announced her name to family while on vacation: Georgia! Her name had to be sweet, classic, and southern…like me, of course. It is one part George Mueller, one part sweet tea. Perfection.




Eyes as blue as the Atlantic

 

Enjoy the pix of our vacation & I even have a little 3-Month-DTEversary gift for you….

Vacation Hindsight Being 20/20:



Cousin Capers

1. If you walk into your aunt’s house and the first thing you notice is the kitchen smoke detector’s battery is missing, that should be the first clue that you should start praying for take-out Chinese.

2. If your family has more drama than Susan Lucci during sweeps week, expect tears, a surprise family member to show up to events, & learning a deep dark secret. Take it all in stride, not counting the potential cost of therapy needed, but instead consider possible book deals awaiting you in the future.

3. When your cousin says, “ I made yours light on the pina, heavy on the colada”, perhaps you should clarify exactly what that means.

4. When the same cousin says “get out the video camera, we totally rocked that song on karaoke!” perhaps you should consider the ramifications to your self esteem after becoming an overnight Youtube sensation.

5. Karaoke is enlightening b/c you realize that you have been singing the wrong lyrics for about 20 years. BTW: “latigo” is the leather strap used to adjust the saddle’s girth on a horse. In slightly related news: after a month of eating your way across America don’t be surprised if your “horse” needs to loosen his/her “latigo” quite a few notches, if you catch my drift.

6. Don’t allow your beautiful & talented cousin to dye your hair the day before you take Christmas card pictures. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

3 Mouseketeers

7. When you travel cross-country with 3 beautifully mismatched children, people will stare because they wonder if you are crazy, a kidnapper, or perhaps a celebrity nanny.

8. Next fundraiser idea:: take pledges for a Potty-a-thon : if I had a dollar for every time my 3 year old begged to use a public restroom, I could have saved myself the many hours of filling out grant applications.

i think we are starting to look alike!?

One Monthiversary on the Waiting List!

It has been one month since our precious paperwork flew across the pond to Ethiopia.  Being wild and crazy as DH and I are, we celebrated by eating takeout from PoBoy express, opening up the windows to enjoy the nice fall Louisiana weather, filling out adoption grant applications, and then having intense allergy attacks resulting in sinus infections.
While I'm feeling reminiscent (maybe it's the cold, maybe it's the paper-pregnancy hormones, maybe it's the homeschool mom's dry erase markers)...here's where we were a long time ago, on our DTE One Monthiversary waiting for Jane-Grace...you know back when we only went through three boxes of cereal in a week, and I could still pick up middle child without making a strange grunting sound.

Last Day to Order Show Hope Shirts!!!!

*******Order has been placed.  Still want a shirt?  That's great!  I will place my next order in about a month...or as soon as I have 12 shirt orders. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO ORDERED!!!  You helped us raise $500 to bring home our next princess & also helped fund Show Hope in their amazing orphan care ministry!  ***Do you love Steven Curtis Chapman, know every word to his songs, and wave at the "Franklin, TN" highway sign as you pass by, sighing that your hair will just never stick up in the right places like SCC?  Well, friend, your sighing days are over!  You can look like Steven Curtis for only $30 (or at least own a replica of his shirt). 
We are selling Show Hope shirts to help bring home our next Ethiopian cutie!  Here's how it works: 1. Pay for a shirt ($30 adult/ $25 kids).  Half the $$ goes to help our adoption, half to Show Hope (win/win).  I will place the order as soon as i reach 24 shirts (hopefully the end of September).  2. You wear your shirt proudly while you lip-sync to "The Great Adventure"!

Red, Chocolate, Smoke, Blue "I Show Hope": S, M, L, XL, 2X, 3X
White long-sleeved Tree Tee (Women slim fit): S, M, L, XL, 2XL
I Dig Show Hope (Women slim fit): S, M, L, XL, 2XL
I Dig Show Hope Youth: YXS(4/6), YS(6/8), YM(8/10), YL(10/12), YXL(14/16)
Black Tree Tee: S, M, L, XL, 2XL
Violet I *heart* Show Hope (Women slim fit): S, M, L, XL
Violet I *heart* Show Hope Child: 6months, 12 months, 18 months, 2T, 3T, 4T
Please specify shirt size and style in the paypal message and thanks for your order!! (Locals can write a check)

Adult or Child Size

Adult Size Shirt $30.00 Child Size Shirt $25.00

Prudence, Mercy, and Risk

More than one person has said to me, "You can't possibly want to adopt a child older than an infant!  Think of the psychological damage, the bonding issues!"  In light of that fear, this is a good read by Dr RDM: "Is the orphan my neighbor?"

Junk Posse Necklace Giveaway

Admit it.  You troll Etsy or blogstalk innocent people 2000 miles from your home, looking for cool adoption/ Africa (or Guatemala or China...) fundraiser stuff.  It's ok.  I'm here to help!  Into the Streets of Ethiopia is doing a giveaway of a beautiful swirly Africa necklace!  Check it out!!  If you don't win...you can buy it on Etsy.  What a wonderful way to celebrate finally turning in that adoption application, being DTE (hint, hint, Dear Hubby), getting your referral, or the anniversary of gotcha day....  I happen to know that Into the Streets is an amazing organization.  DH is on the board and our church supports and prays for the orphans & street kids that N2TS (that's the street lingo, get with it, sista) helps:)